50 Fun Christmas Cracker Jokes
The best cracker jokes we could find, or the worst, we're not sure really. And we do sometimes use them in our quizzes to add a bit of festive fun!
The 4 stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus, 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus, 3. You dress up as Santa Claus, 4. You look like Santa Claus. And our jokes don't get any better!? Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
Cracker Jokes - paper hat and toy not included!
- What do elves like to post on Social Media?
Answer - Elf-ies - Where would you find a Christmas tree?
Answer - Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four - What did Cinderella say when her photos did not arrive?
Answer - One day my prints will come - What sort of athlete is warmest in winter?
Answer - A long jumper - Where do fish keep all their savings?
Answer - In the riverbank - What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Answer - Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer - What musical instrument did the turkey play in the band?
Answer - The drums (because it had drumsticks) - What do you call a snowman after winter?
Answer - A puddle - What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
Answer - It's Christmas, Eve - What do snowmen like to do at the weekends?
Answer - Chill out - Why will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
Answer - No Brussels - Which Christmas carol do dogs like best?
Answer - Bark the Herald Angels Sing - What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
Answer - A Christmas quacker - Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
Answer - Because they're always dropping their needles - What do you call a donkey with three legs?
Answer - A wonkey - What is the name of Santa's brother, who is a detective?
Answer - Santa Clues - Where do unhealthy elves go to get fit?
Answer - An Elf Farm - Where would you see snowmen dancing?
Answer - At a Christmas snowball - Can you name Santa's favorite singer?
Answer - Elf-is Presley - Which of Father Christmas's reindeers has the worst manners?
Answer - Rudolph (Rude-olph) - What month do Christmas trees hate most?
Answer - Sep-timber - Which letter is missing from the Christmas alphabet?
Answer - 'L' (there's No-el) - How do you know Santa is good at karate?
Answer - He has a black belt - What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Answer - A stick - What did Santa Claus ask Mrs. Claus about the weather?
Answer - Is it going to rain deer - When is a boat like snow?
Answer - When it's adrift - Where are Christmas films made?
Answer - Holly-wood - What hides in a secret Christmas bakery?
Answer - A mince pie - What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Answer - Jingle Smells - What does Santa sometimes suffer from when climbing down chimneys?
Answer - Claustrophobia - How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Answer - Deep pan, crisp and even - Knock knock! Who's there? Hanna. Hanna who?
Answer - Hanna partridge in a pear tree! - Why did nobody bid for Dancer and Prancer in the auction?
Answer - Because they were two deer - What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Answer - Jungle Bells - What footwear can you make from banana skins?
Answer - Slippers - How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's climbed over?
Answer - He keeps a logbook - What did the snowman say to the angry carrot?
Answer - Get out of my face - What is a child’s favourite king?
Answer - A Christmas stocking - What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Answer - Frostbite - Why are advent calendars unlikely to be on sale next Christmas?
Answer - Their days are numbered - What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Answer - Horn-aments - Why was Cinderella no good at sport?
Answer - Because her coach was a pumpkin - What is the name of Santa Claus's wife?
Answer - Mary Christmas - What did one tinsel say to the other tinsel?
Answer - Let's hangout - What do young elves first learn at school?
Answer - The elf-abet - Why was the young snowman told off in the supermarket?
Answer - He was picking his nose - What do you call Santa when he gets stuck in a chimney?
Answer - Santa Pause - Why did the Christmas dinner taste like an old cushion?
Answer - It had too much stuffing - What did the thief get for stealing advent calendars?
Answer - He got 24 days - What is the best Christmas present in the world?
Answer - A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!